How to Stop Letting Others Control Your Emotions
As moms, it's so easy to find ourselves swayed by the emotions and opinions of those around us.
However, allowing others to control our emotions can be detrimental to our well-being.
In this blog, we'll explore strategies and techniques to reclaim control over our emotional responses and create a more resilient mindset.
Why Do We Let Others Control Our Emotions?
As humans, we are social creatures, wired to connect with and respond to the emotions of those around them. This is a good thing!
However, when the emotions are BIG and negative, this can cause us some trouble.
Here are 9 Tips to Stop Letting Others Control Your Emotions
Self-Awareness:
The first step in taking charge of your emotions is working on self-awareness.
Pay attention to your own emotional responses in different situations.
Are you easily swayed by the moods of others?
Recognizing your emotional triggers is essential in building resilience against external influences.
Self-Awareness Example:
Reflect on a recent situation where you felt strongly influenced by someone else's emotions. Ask yourself what specific emotions were triggered and why. This self-awareness can help you identify patterns and work towards understanding your emotional responses better.
Mindfulness Practices:
Mindfulness is a powerful tool in breaking the chains of emotional reactivity.
Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and mindful observation of thoughts can help create a mental space between external stimuli and your emotional response.
By practicing mindfulness, you can develop the ability to observe emotions without being consumed by them.
Mindfulness Example:
When faced with a stressful situation, take a few minutes to practice deep breathing. Inhale slowly, hold your breath, and exhale deeply. This simple mindfulness exercise can create a mental space that allows you to respond to the situation calmly instead of reacting impulsively.
Set Boundaries:
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial in preventing others from taking control of your emotions.
Clearly communicate your limits to those around you and learn to say no when necessary.
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and plays a big role in preserving your emotional well-being.
Boundary Example:
If a friend constantly shares negativity or drama, kindly communicate your need for more positive interactions. Let them know that you're working on maintaining a positive mindset and would appreciate conversations that contribute to a healthier mindset.
Identify and Challenge Irrational Thoughts:
People often let others control their emotions based on irrational thoughts or assumptions.
Learn to identify negative thought patterns and challenge them. A
sk yourself if your emotional response is proportionate to the situation or if it's influenced by unfounded beliefs.
By questioning your thoughts, you can regain control over your emotional reactions.
Challenging Irrational Thoughts Example:
If you catch yourself assuming the worst about a situation, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there's concrete evidence supporting your negative beliefs. By questioning and reframing irrational thoughts, you can prevent them from influencing your emotions.
Work on Emotional Intelligence:
Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing your emotions effectively.
By working on your emotional intelligence, you can navigate social situations with greater ease.
Practice empathy, both towards yourself and others, and strive to recognize and regulate your emotions in a balanced way.
Print out a ‘feelings wheel’ to help you better identify what you are actually feeling in the moment.
The better we can identify our feelings, the better we are at controlling them ourselves vs letting others control them.
Emotional Intelligence Example:
Practice empathetic listening in a conversation. Instead of immediately reacting to someone's words, strive to understand their perspective and emotions. Developing emotional intelligence enhances your ability to navigate social interactions with empathy and understanding. Try to focus on listening rather than thinking of what you want to say.
Choose Your Response:
In any given situation, you have the power to choose your response.
Instead of reacting impulsively to external stimuli, take a moment to consider how you want to respond.
This intentional approach empowers you to maintain control over your emotions and prevents others from dictating your emotional state.
Choosing Your Response Example:
Imagine receiving criticism from a colleague. Instead of reacting defensively, take a moment to choose your response. Consider whether there's constructive feedback within the criticism and respond calmly, expressing a willingness to learn and improve.
Surround Yourself with Positivity:
The company you keep significantly influences your emotional well-being.
We tend to be the sum of the five closest people to us.
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift rather than drain your energy.
Invest in relationships that encourage personal growth and understanding.
By choosing your social circle wisely, you can create a more positive life and mindset.
Choosing Your Inner Circle Example:
Evaluate your social circle and identify individuals who consistently uplift and support you. Spend more time with these positive influences and limit interactions with those who tend to bring negativity. Creating a positive environment helps with emotional resilience.
Focus on Personal Growth:
Investing time and energy in personal growth can be a powerful tool to external emotional influences.
When you prioritize your own development, you become less dependent on external validation.
Set goals, pursue your passions, and celebrate your achievements to build a strong sense of self-worth.
Personal Growth Example:
Set a specific personal goal, whether it's learning a new skill, pursuing a hobby, or achieving a fitness milestone. Focusing on your personal growth provides a sense of accomplishment and self-worth, reducing dependence on external validation.
Seek Professional Support:
If you find it challenging to break free from the grip of others' emotions, seeking professional support can be hugely beneficial.
A therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and strategies to help you regain control over your emotional responses.
Professional guidance can be a transformative step in your journey towards emotional autonomy.
Seeking Professional Support Example:
If you find it challenging to break free from persistent emotional struggles, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They can offer personalized guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore and understand your emotions.
Takeaways:
Taking control of your emotions is a journey that requires self-awareness, intentional effort, and a commitment to personal growth.
By implementing these strategies, you can reclaim autonomy over your emotional responses and develop a mindset that is resilient in the face of external influences.
Remember, your emotions are your own, and you have the power to shape how you experience the world around you.
With love and solidarity,
Ready to experience freedom from letting others control your emotions? Let’s connect!
I will help you find solutions and immediate relief. Reach out for a free consultation today!
Sources:
Gross J.J., John O.P. Individual differences in two emotion regulation processes: Implications for affect, relationships, and well-being. J. Personal. Soc. Psychol. 2003;85:348–362.
Rutherford, H., Wallace, N., Laurent, H. Mayes, L. Emotion Regulation in Parenthood. Dev Rev. 2015 Jun 1; 36: 1–14.