There is no such thing as a perfect mom and we all shine in different areas.

Being a good mother is about continuing to show up, day in and day out.

Whether you can barely keep your eyes open comforting a crying baby at 3 a.m. or you are cheering at your son’s basketball game, there are so many things that go into motherhood.

The characteristics in this blog aren’t about being the "perfect mom"— none of us have it all together (even if it looks like it on social media).

So let’s look at 20 qualities of a good mother.

As you read, think about how these characteristics already show up in your life and how you can continue to grow into the amazing mom you’re meant to be.

20 Motherly Characteristics:

1. Patience

Patience doesn’t come naturally—it’s something we grow into as moms.

It’s about staying calm during meltdowns, taking deep breaths when everything is completely chaotic, and trying again when things don’t work out the first (or tenth) time.

Patience is a skill that grows.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Practice pausing before reacting.

When your toddler is throwing a tantrum or your teenager is pushing boundaries….go into another room and take some deep breaths.

Remind yourself that your calmness helps teach your child how to control their own emotions.

2. Unconditional Love

A good mother’s love should be unconditional.

A lot of us didn’t grow up with mothers who were capable of showing us this type of love. This makes it hard to picture what this kind of love even looks like.

Unconditional love is loving your child even when they mess up, even when they piss you off, even when they lie to you, even when they fail a class — you get the picture.

A good mother’s love is not based on performance or doing exactly what WE think they should do.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Start by reflecting on what unconditional love means to you and how you can model it in your everyday life.

Focus on loving your child for who they are, not what they do.

When they make mistakes, remind yourself that their worth isn’t tied to their achievements or behavior.

Instead of reacting with anger or frustration, try responding with empathy and understanding.

If you didn’t get this response as a child, you can learn to reparent yourself through parenting your children a different way.

Practicing forgiveness and patience is key to showing your child that your love doesn’t have limits—even on the hard days.

3. Resilience

Moms face challenges head-on, whether it’s handling a bad teacher, sleepless nights, making tough decisions, or juggling all the things that we juggle.

Resilience doesn’t mean you don’t struggle…..it means you rise to the challenges in front of you.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Lean on your support system when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Remind yourself that every hard day you overcome gives you strength and even more resilience for the next.

4. Problem-Solving

Moms are master problem-solvers.

Sometimes that’s literally all that motherhood feels like.

Your child forgot their lunch, who can drop it off? Need to be in two places at once, who can you ask to help? Your child has a science project due tomorrow and it’s 11pm, time to get creative.

Great moms have the ability to adapt and solve problems when things don’t go as planned.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Approach problems calmly rather than with frustration.

Realize that solving problems is a big part of motherhood and you are not alone in this.

When something goes wrong, ask yourself, “What’s a creative way to make this work?”

Over time, problem-solving becomes second nature and you get really good at it.

5. Encouragement

Your words have the power to build confidence in your kids.

Encouragement helps them feel seen, valued, and capable of taking on challenges.

It helps them know that even when they feel like the world is against them, they always have someone in their corner.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Make it a habit to praise effort, not just results.

Tell your child, “I’m proud of how hard you worked,” or “I love how kind you were today.”

These small affirmations remind them they are enough and doing a good job. It helps fill their cup.

6. Asks For Help

Being a mom doesn’t mean you have to do everything on your own.

But a lot of times we feel like we do.

It’s hard to ask for help and it’s also hard to accept it.

Accepting help shows your kids that it’s okay to lean on others and that teamwork is valuable.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Start by identifying areas where you could use support. It could be asking your husband for help with the baby in the night, picking the kids up from school, or planning dinner for the week.

Letting other people help gives you more energy to be a good mom.

7. Empathy

Good moms don’t have a “just suck it up” attitude toward their kids (or life in general).

Empathy helps you connect with your child’s feelings which makes them feel understood.

It teaches them that their feelings matter and that they can come to you when they need support.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Practice active listening.

Instead of jumping to fix a problem or getting annoyed, sit with your child and acknowledge their feelings.

Saying, “That sounds really hard,” can go a long way in helping them feel heard.

8. Sense of Humor

Humor is so very important.

Laughing with your kids helps you bond and releases good chemicals in both your brain and your children’s.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Find joy in the little things, even when chaos strikes.

It could be finding humor when the dishwasher leaks, the dog eats a dirty diaper, or you lock your keys in the car.

Humor shows your kids that you have the option of laughing rather than freaking out when things go wrong (because they do and they will.)

9. Takes Care of Herself

You can’t pour from an empty cup — yep, you’ve heard it and I said it.

Moms often put themselves last, but taking care of your own needs actually benefits your family a lot more than you think.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic: Schedule time for yourself regularly, even if it’s just 10 minutes to drink your coffee in silence.

Prioritize your health by eating well, exercising, and getting good sleep.

Make time for things that you love - don’t give up your hobbies.

10. Forgives Quickly

Forgiveness is crucial.

Your kids are going to mess up, you are going to mess up, your husband will let you down.

It’s about letting go of grudges—whether they’re toward your kids or yourself—and focusing on moving forward.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Start with small acts of forgiveness.

If your child makes a mistake, take it as a teaching moment rather than holding onto frustration.

Forgiving yourself for parenting mistakes is just as important.

11. Sets Good Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for a happy, healthy home.

They protect your time, energy, and relationships while teaching your kids how to respect others and take care of themselves.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Define clear boundaries for your family, like setting limits on screen time, enforcing bedtime routines, or saying no to overcommitting.

Communicate your boundaries calmly and stick to them, even when it’s hard.

Modeling healthy boundaries shows your kids how to create balance in their own lives.

12. Respects Her Husband (if married)

A mom who shows respect for her husband models a loving and healthy partnership for her children.

When kids see their parents treating each other with kindness and appreciation, it sets the foundation for how they’ll build their own relationships in the future.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Make an effort to speak positively about your husband, especially in front of your children.

Show gratitude for the things he does, and work together as a team in parenting decisions.

Even when disagreements arise, handle them with grace and respect.

Your relationship with your husband is a powerful example of love and mutual support for your kids.

13. Prays for Her Family

A mom who prays for her family shows her trust in God.

Prayer isn’t just about asking for help; it’s about covering your children and husband in love, seeking wisdom, and surrendering their needs to God.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Make prayer a daily habit, whether it’s during quiet time, bedtime, or moments of gratitude throughout the day.

Pray for your children’s growth, friendships, future spouses, protection, and faith, and for your husband’s strength and leadership.

Let your kids see you praying—it teaches them the importance of leaning on God in every season of life.

14. Present

There are limitless distraction in our everyday lives.

But a true gift to your kids is giving them your undivided attention.

It’s about focusing on them - even 5 minutes a day - without rushing or looking at your phone.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Start small.

Set aside time each day to give your kids your undivided attention, whether it’s during meals, bedtime, or just a few minutes on the couch.

Put your phone down and really listen when they talk about their day.

Being present isn’t about spending every moment together—it’s about making the moments you do share count.

15. Intuition

A mom’s intuition is powerful.

Trusting your gut helps you make decisions that are best for your family.

Seriously, if something feels wrong or off - it probably is.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Pay attention to your instincts.

Trust yourself.

When you feel something is off, take the time to investigate.

The more you trust your intuition, the stronger it becomes.

16. Strong Faith

Faith is the foundation that carries so many moms through the ups and downs of motherhood.

Trusting God’s plan and leaning on His strength gives you the courage to face all of the mothering challenges that come up.

Faith is what keeps you grounded when life feels overwhelming and scary.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Spend time with God daily, whether it’s through prayer, reading Scripture, or simply reflecting on His goodness.

When parenting feels hard, pray for wisdom and strength, trusting that God equips you for this role.

Lean on your faith community for encouragement, and remember that God’s grace is sufficient—even on the hardest days.

17. Shows Up

Being there for your kids, no matter what, makes them feel valued and secure.

Whether it’s cheering them on at a game, listening when they need to talk, being at their loud and overstimulating school party — showing up is how you build trust.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Make it a priority to show up for the big and small moments.

Attend their events, volunteer at their school, and comfort them during tough times.

Even when life gets busy, let them know they can count on you to be in their corner.

It’s your consistent presence that makes all the difference.

18. Points Out Their Strengths

Every child has very unique gifts and talents, and as their mom, you have the special ability to see them.

By pointing out their strengths, you help them build confidence, develop self-awareness, and understand their value.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Take the time to notice what your child does well, whether it’s their creativity, kindness, problem-solving, or determination.

Tell them what you see: “I love how kind you were to your friend today” or “You worked so hard on that project—I’m so proud of you.”

Your words have the power to shape how they see themselves and their potential.

19. Celebrates Wins

Focusing on small victories reminds you of the joy in motherhood.

These moments give you the energy to tackle the tough days.

How to grow this motherly characteristic:

Celebrate tiny successes with your kids.

A high-five, a hug, or even a happy dance can make those small wins feel like big ones.

20. Teaches Responsibility

Helping your child develop a sense of responsibility is one of the most important ways you prepare them for life.

It’s about teaching them to own their actions, contribute to the family, and care for themselves and others.

How to Become a Better Mom with This Characteristic:

Start small by giving your child age-appropriate tasks, like picking up toys, helping with dinner, or completing homework on time.

Use mistakes as opportunities to teach accountability, and praise them when they follow through.

Encouraging responsibility not only helps your child grow but also strengthens their confidence and independence.

Conclusion

Motherhood isn’t about getting it all right—it’s about loving your kids through the messy…and often beautiful chaos.

These characteristics aren’t a checklist to complete; they’re qualities we grow into over time.

Some days, you’ll nail it, and other days, you’ll wonder if you’re doing anything right—and that’s okay.

The fact that you’re here, thinking about how to show up for your kids, says so much about the kind of mom you are.

Give yourself credit for the love, effort, and care you pour into your family every day.

You don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom.

Just keep showing up.

With love and solidarity,

Are you looking for support to thrive as a mom? Let’s connect!

As a therapist for moms, I’m confident I can help.

Reach out for a free consultation today!

Sources:

Laney EK, Anderson HMEL, Willingham MM. Becoming a mother: The influence of motherhood on women’s identity development. Identity. 2015;15(2):126–145.

Rizzo KM, Schiffrin HH, Liss M. Insight into the parenthood paradox: Mental health outcomes of intensive motherhood. Journal of Child and Family Studies. 2013;22(1):614–620.

Williamson, T., Wagstaff, D., Goodwin, J., Smith, N. Mothering Ideology: A Qualitative Exploration of Mothers’ Perceptions of Navigating Motherhood Pressures and Partner Relationships. Sex Roles. 2023; 88(1-2): 101–117.