50 Therapist-Approved Boundary Phrases

You know that uneasy feeling in your stomach when you need to say “no” to someone?

I think that moment can feel even more challenging for moms, at least I know it does for me.

As a therapist and recovering people-pleaser, I know firsthand how difficult these situations can be.

But I also know that having the right words—and getting comfortable using them—can make all the difference.

That’s why I created this list of 50 phrases.

They’re firm yet respectful, designed to help you maintain boundaries with confidence.

And they work—I’ve shared them with hundreds of clients who have successfully used them in real-life situations.

Whether it’s handling unsolicited advice from family, setting expectations with friends, or helping your kids understand personal space, these phrases will make it easier to hold your boundaries with confidence.

50 Boundary Phrases That Work:

1. "I’m not able to do that right now."

This is a clear, respectful way to say no without over-explaining yourself.

Example:

“I’m not able to help with the fundraiser this year, but I hope it goes well!”

2. "I need some time to think about that."

Umm…anyone else feel pressured to say yes on the spot? This phrase gives you a little breathing room before committing.

Example:

“Let me think about whether I can take on that extra project, and I’ll get back to you.”

3. "That doesn’t work for me."

Short, sweet, and to the point. No need to write a novel explaining why.

Example:

“Thanks for the invite, but that date doesn’t work for me.”

4. "I can’t commit to that right now."

Because sometimes your plate isn’t just full…it’s overflowing.

Example:

“I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to it right now with everything else going on.”

5. "I appreciate the offer, but I have to decline."

A kind way to turn down an offer without guilt.

Example:

“Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to decline this time.”

Boundary Phrases for When You Need to Put the Brakes On

6. "Please don’t speak to me that way."

Sets a standard for how you expect to be treated. It’s firm but keeps things respectful.

Example:

“I can tell that you are upset, but please don’t speak to me that way - it's not acceptable."

7. "I’m not comfortable discussing that."

Because some topics? They’re just not up for debate. Period.

Example:

“I’d rather not talk about my parenting choices right now, thank you though.”

8. "Let me get back to you."

This avoids a rushed decision while keeping communication open. Sometimes you need to check your calendar (or your sanity!)

Example:

“Let me check my schedule, and I’ll get back to you about helping with the class party.”

9. "I can help with X, but not Y."

Defines what you’re willing to do—and what you’re not. Helps you stay involved without burning out.

Example:

“I can bake cookies for the event, but I can’t help set up on the day.”

10. "That’s not something I can prioritize right now."

Gives an honest reason without over-apologizing.

Example:

“I’m focusing on family right now, so I can’t take on anything extra.”

Boundary Phrases for When You’re Maxed Out

11. "I’d prefer if we handled it this way."

Offers an alternative when you need to redirect a situation - nicely.

Example:

“I’d prefer if we text instead of calling during work hours.”

12. "I’m not available for that."

Keeps things short and to the point. No explanation needed!

Example:

“I’m not available to meet this weekend, but maybe another time.”

13. "I need to take a break."

This is a direct way to step away when needed. This phrase is your permission slip to pause.

Example:

“I need to take a break because I'm feeling a little frazzled. I'm going to take 5 minutes.”

14. "This isn’t a good time for me."

Sometimes you just need to protect your schedule (and your peace of mind).

Example:

“This isn’t a good time for me to chat, I have a lot going on today. Can we catch up later?”

15. "I’d appreciate it if you didn’t do that."

Sets a clear expectation without being confrontational.

Example:

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give the kids snacks without asking me first.”

Boundary Phrases For Setting Limits

16. "I’m happy to help, but only with this."

You can still be helpful without doing ALL the things.

Example:

“I’m happy to help pick up supplies, but I can’t stay for the event.”

17. "I’m not in a place to handle this right now."

Acknowledges your limits in a kind way. Sometimes you just need to hit pause on heavy conversations.

Example:

“I’m not in a place to talk about this today. Can we revisit it tomorrow?”

18. "That’s not something I can be involved with."

For those sticky situations where you need to step ALL the way back.

Example:

“I understand the situation, but that’s not something I can be involved with.”

19. "I need some time to myself."

Protects your mental and emotional space.

Example:

“I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need some time to myself to recharge.”

20. "I’m going to have to pass on this."

Keeps your response firm but polite. No guilt required!

Example:

“I’m going to have to pass on book club this month, but thanks for inviting me.”

Boundary Phrases for Tough Days

21. "Let’s stick to the plan we agreed on."

Perfect for those moments when someone’s trying to push past what you’ve already decided.

Example:

“We agreed on a 9 PM curfew, so I expect you home on time.”

22. "I can’t do that, but here’s what I can do instead."

Provides a different solution that can work for you.

Example:

“I can’t babysit all day, but I can watch the kids for an hour or two.”

23. "I understand where you’re coming from, but I have to say no."

Validates the other person’s feelings while standing your ground.

Example:

“I understand you’re disappointed, but I have to say no to loaning the car.”

24. "This is what I’m comfortable with."

Communicates your limits clearly.

Example:

“I'm not comfortable adding more get togethers to our schedule this holiday season."

25. "I need us to respect each other’s time."

Because everyone’s time matters - including yours!

Example:

“It's important that we don't let our meeting run long today. I will set a timer so that we don't lose track of time.”

Boundary Phrases For Healthy Communication

26. "I need you to respect my decision."

A clear way to shut down pushback after you've set a boundary.

Example:

“I’ve made my decision about this, and I need you to respect it.”

27. "I’m focusing on my family right now."

Your family comes first - and this phrase makes that crystal clear.

Example:

“My family needs extra attention right now, so I won’t be able to join the PTO this year.”

28. "I’d like to keep this conversation respectful."

Redirects a discussion that’s becoming tense or disrespectful (hello, family discussions 😅).

Example:

“I understand we don’t agree, but I’d like to keep this conversation respectful.”

29. "I can’t give you an answer right now."

Allows you to pause instead of committing immediately. No more rushed decisions that you will regret later.

Example:

“I can’t give you an answer right now. I’ll let you know by tomorrow.”

30. "I’d prefer to handle this differently."

Lets you guide the situation in a way that works for you.

Example:

“I’d prefer to handle bedtime without screen time tonight.”

Boundary Phrases To Stand Up For What You Need

31. "I need to end this conversation."

Sometimes you just gotta hit the pause button on draining talks.

Example:

“This conversation isn’t going anywhere productive. I need to end it here.”

32. "I don’t think that’s fair to me."

Speaks up when you feel taken advantage of.

Example:

“I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to handle this on my own.”

33. "Let’s take a step back and revisit this later."

Perfect for those conversations that need a timeout.

Example:

“This is getting a little intense. Let’s take a step back and revisit it later.”

34. "I can’t agree to that."

Short, clear, and powerful - no explanation needed!

Example:

“I understand your perspective, but I can’t agree to that.

35. "This is what works best for me right now."

Because you get to decide what fits YOUR life.

Example:

“Dropping off the kids early works best for me right now. I hope that’s okay.”

Boundary Phrases When You Need Space

36. "I’m not comfortable with this."

Trust your instincts - if something feels off, speak up.

Example:

“I’m not comfortable with the kids riding bikes without helmets.”

37. "I need to prioritize my mental health."

Directly links your boundaries to your well-being. This is a phrase helps others get it.

Example:

“I need to prioritize my mental health, so I’m stepping back from this project.”

38. "I can’t give this the attention it deserves."

Shows that you value quality over overcommitment.

Example:

“I can’t give this the attention it deserves, so I’ll have to step away.”

39. "I need you to stop."

A firm but necessary boundary when something needs to end immediately.

Example:

“I need you to stop interrupting me when I’m talking.”

40. "I can’t manage this without help."

Communicates when you need support instead of silently struggling. Ask for that help!

Example:

“I can’t manage dinner and bedtime on my own tonight. Can you step in?”

Boundary Phrases That Save Your Sanity

41. "I need to stick to my budget."

Money talks can be awkward - this phrase makes them easier.

Example:

“I need to stick to my budget, so I won’t be able to contribute to that gift.”

42. "Let’s revisit this at a better time."

Keeps the door open while pausing the conversation.

Example:

“This isn’t the right time to decide. Let’s revisit it next week.”

43. "I’d rather not discuss that right now."

Because some topics need to wait (or stay private forever!)

Example:

“I’d rather not discuss my health situation right now.”

44. "I can only handle so much today."

Communicates your current limits honestly.

Example:

“I can only handle so much today. Let’s tackle the rest tomorrow.”

45. "I need a heads-up next time."

Sets the stage for better boundaries moving forward.

Example:

“I need a heads-up if you’re planning to drop by unexpectedly.”

Boundary Phrases for Real Life Moments

46. "I’m not okay with that."

Have a gut feeling about something? Listen to it! This phrase helps you speak up fast.

Example:

“I’m not okay with the kids playing unsupervised by the pool.”

47. "I have to protect my time."

Your time is precious - and limited!

Example:

“I have to protect my time, so I won’t be able to take this on right now.”

48. "Let’s stick to what we agreed on."

Perfect for those moments when plans start to slide.

Example:

“We agreed to split carpool duties. Let’s stick to that plan.”

49. "I’m happy to share my perspective, but not to argue."

Keeps a conversation productive without getting pulled into drama.

Example:

“I’m happy to share my perspective, but I don’t want to argue about it.”

50. "I need you to respect my boundaries."

A direct reminder when someone repeatedly oversteps. Use it when others keep pushing.

Example:

“I’ve already said no to this, and I need you to respect my boundaries.”

I know setting boundaries can feel… awkward. Maybe even a little scary.

I’ve definitely been there (and still struggle sometimes)!

I want you to take these phrases and think of them as your pocket-sized confidence boosters for those moments when you need to say “nope, not today” (but way more gracefully 😉).

Whether it’s:

• Your mother-in-law’s surprise visits

• Your kids testing limits

• That friend who always runs late

• Or the PTA president who won’t take no for an answer

You’ve got the words you need right here.

The thing about boundaries is: They’re not walls keeping people out. They’re more like… your home’s front door.

You get to decide when it’s open, when it’s closed, and who gets to come in. That’s not mean - that’s healthy!

So take these phrases and make them your own!

With love and solidarity,

Struggling to set boundaries? Let’s connect!

As a therapist for moms, I am confident I can help.

Reach out for a free consultation today!

Related Articles:

Tips for Setting Boundaries during Pregnancy

Sources:

Mathe, J. R., & Kelly, W. E. (2023). Mental boundaries relationship with self-esteem and social support: New findings for mental boundaries research. Journal of Psychology and Behavioral Science, 43(1). https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02762366231158274

Pluut, H., & Wonders, J. (2020). Not able to lead a healthy life when you need it the most: Dual role of lifestyle behaviors in the association of blurred work-life boundaries with well-being. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 607294. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7786197/