One thing that a lot of moms rarely talk about is gender disappointment.

It’s a real emotion.

I remember the feeling when I learned that my third baby was another boy (3 boys!).

We don’t want to admit our disappointment and it goes without saying that we love our baby.

But we are allowed to have feelings.

Let’s talk about gender disappointment and what we can do about it.

What is Gender Disappointment?

Gender disappointment is feeling sad, upset, or disappointed about our baby’s gender.

It’s more common than people think and it definitely doesn’t make you a bad mom.

You can love your child deeply and still feel this way disappointed to learn that they are a girl or boy.

6 Ways to Cope with Gender Disappointment:

Acknowledging Your Feelings:
The first step is to acknowledge your feelings.
Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help you.
It’s okay to admit that you feel disappointed.
Again, you are a human being with human emotions.
Talk About It:
Find someone to talk about your feelings.
It could be a friend, a family member, or a therapist.
Sharing your feelings can reduce the shame and guilt of feeling disappointed by your baby’s gender.
Get Support: Join online groups or communities (like a church mom’s group) where you can find other moms who understand.
Support from other mamas who have been there can be very helpful.
Focus on the Positives:
Try to focus on the positive aspects of your baby’s gender.
Think about the cool experiences that come with raising a child of that gender.
Create New Dreams:
Start imagining the awesome memories that you will make with your baby.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself.
Understand that it’s okay to feel this way and it definitely doesn’t define your love for your child.