Parenting isn’t easy.

There are days when you feel like you’ve got it all together, and then others where it’s complete chaos.

As a mom of four, I get it. You’re juggling so many things: the kids, work, house, and maybe even squeezing in a little time for yourself (if you’re lucky!).

But there’s a way to approach parenting that can make those overwhelming days feel more manageable, and it’s called whole brain parenting.

What is Whole Brain Parenting?

Whole brain parenting is all about understanding how your child’s brain works and using that knowledge to connect with them in a more meaningful way.

You know those moments when your child seems to be having a meltdown over something small?

Well, chances are their brain is still developing, and they’re struggling to manage all those big emotions.

Whole brain parenting helps you guide them through these moments in a way that fosters emotional growth and resilience.

The idea behind it comes from brain science, but don’t worry—you don’t need to be a neuroscientist to make it work.

It’s about integrating both the logical and emotional sides of your child’s brain so they can think clearly while still feeling supported.

It’s like teaching them to balance their emotions and decisions, which is a huge life skill!

Why Whole Brain Parenting Works

One of the biggest challenges we face as moms is trying to stay calm when our kids are pushing every button.

Maybe your toddler refuses to share, or your teenager slams the door when asked to do chores.

When these moments hit, it’s easy to react in frustration.

But whole brain parenting encourages us to pause, breathe, and respond in a way that helps both you and your child move forward, not backward.

Children don’t always act out to make us mad—they do it because they’re trying to figure out how the world works.

Their brains are still developing, and they don’t yet have the skills to process everything they feel. That’s where we come in.

Whole brain parenting allows you to meet your child where they are, emotionally and mentally, and help them grow.

The Four Key Elements of Whole Brain Parenting

To make this easier, let’s break down whole brain parenting into four key elements that any mom can apply:

1. Connect and Redirect

When your child is upset, their emotions are running high.

In this state, they’re not able to use the logical part of their brain.

So, trying to reason with them in the heat of the moment won’t work.

The first step is to connect with them emotionally.

Get down to their level, acknowledge how they’re feeling, and offer comfort.

Once they’re calmer, you can gently redirect them toward better behavior.

For example, if your child is upset because they can’t have a toy at the store, instead of saying, “Stop crying, you can’t have it,” try, “I know you really wanted that toy. It’s hard not to get something when you really like it.”

This validates their feelings.

Then, once they’ve calmed down, you can explain why they can’t have it and offer a solution, like saving up for it.

2. Name It to Tame It

When big emotions take over, kids often don’t know how to handle them.

One way to help is by giving their feelings a name.

This might seem simple, but when your child can identify what they’re feeling—whether it’s anger, sadness, or frustration—it helps them process it better.

Let’s say your child is furious because their sibling took their favorite toy.

You could say, “It looks like you’re really angry right now because your brother took your toy.”

Naming the emotion helps them understand it and starts the process of calming down.

It’s like giving them the tools to manage their feelings instead of being overwhelmed by them.

3. Engage, Don’t Enrage

In challenging moments, it’s so easy to react with anger, especially when you’re already tired or stressed.

But raising your voice or getting upset often only escalates the situation.

Instead, aim to engage your child’s thinking brain. Ask questions, offer choices, and engage them in problem-solving.

For instance, if your child refuses to clean up their toys, instead of getting angry, you could say, “I see you’re having a hard time picking up your toys. Do you want to do it before or after dinner?”

Offering choices gives them some control and engages the logical part of their brain.

4. Use the Power of Storytelling

Kids love stories, and they can be powerful tools in helping them understand the world.

When your child experiences something difficult, whether it’s a bad day at school or a fight with a friend, encourage them to tell the story.

This helps them make sense of the situation and work through their feelings.

You can also use storytelling as a way to explain situations they don’t fully understand.

For example, if your child is anxious about starting school, you could share a story about a time when you were nervous about something new and how you got through it.

This makes them feel seen and understood, and helps them process their own experience.

How You Can Start Using Whole Brain Parenting

You don’t need to overhaul your entire parenting approach overnight.

Whole brain parenting is more about small shifts that make a big difference over time.

Start by being more mindful of your child’s emotional state, and look for opportunities to connect with them before trying to correct their behavior.

Focus on building that emotional bond first, and the rest will follow.

Here are a few quick ways you can start practicing whole brain parenting:

Pause before reacting: When your child is acting out, take a moment to breathe before responding. This gives you time to think about how to engage their emotions first.
Acknowledge their feelings: Help your child identify what they’re feeling. This doesn’t mean giving in to every request, but it does mean showing empathy.
Offer choices: Giving your child choices engages their thinking brain and helps them feel more in control.
Be consistent: Whole brain parenting is about creating a safe, predictable environment where your child knows they are loved, no matter what. This consistency helps them feel secure.

Takeaways:

Whole brain parenting isn’t about being a perfect mom.

It’s about being a connected mom, one who is patient (as much as possible) and responsive to her child’s needs.

It’s about recognizing that your child’s brain is a work in progress, and that you’re helping them build the tools they need for life.

You won’t get it right every time.

No one does! But with practice, whole brain parenting can help you feel more in control during those tough parenting moments and help your child grow into a more emotionally balanced adult.

And trust me, as a mom of four, I’m still working on it every day too.

With love and solidarity,

Whole Brain Parenting: A Simple Guide for Moms

What is Whole Brain Parenting?

Why Whole Brain Parenting Works