Mother setting boundaries with her husband.

As a mom of four and a therapist, I know firsthand how tricky it can be to juggle the endless demands of motherhood while trying to keep your own sanity.

That's why today, we're chatting about one of the most empowering tools in your mommy toolkit: setting boundaries.

This blog will give you straightforward, practical strategies that you can start using right away.

Why Boundaries are a Must for Moms

First things first, let’s talk about why boundaries are so crucial.

Setting boundaries helps you protect your energy, maintain your mental health, and yes, even improve your relationships with your loved ones.

It's not about being harsh or unloving—it's about making sure you're not running on empty.

Woman setting boundaries with her friend.

The Basics of Boundary Sentences

Think of boundary sentences as your personal lines in the sand.

They are clear, direct statements that help others understand where you stand and what you expect. Here’s how you can frame them:

Be clear and direct: Instead of hinting or hoping someone will catch on, say what you need plainly.
Keep it positive: Frame your boundaries in a way that focuses on your needs and feelings without blaming the other person.
Stay firm and calm: You might need to repeat your boundaries more than once. That’s okay! Stay calm and consistent.

Examples of Boundary Sentences for Moms

Now, let’s get into some real-life examples of boundary sentences that can help you reclaim your time and energy:

For Playdates:
- "I need to know a week in advance if you want to set up a playdate, so I can plan our week accordingly."
With Family:
- "I appreciate your advice, but I'm going to handle bedtime the way that works best for our family."
At Work:
- "I block out time from 3 to 4 PM to pick up my kids, so I won’t be available for meetings during that hour."
In Social Settings:
- "I love seeing everyone, but we need to head home by 8 PM so we can stick to our routine."
For Self-Care:
- "I need to take 30 minutes of quiet time for myself each evening. It's important for my well-being."
During Family Gatherings:
- "We love visiting, but we need to leave by our usual bedtime to keep the kids on schedule."
With Spouses or Partners:
- "I need your help with the kids' bedtime routine every night. It's important we share this responsibility."
With Friends:
- "I can't commit to spontaneous plans during the week. Let's schedule something ahead of time."
With Your Children:
- "Mommy is on a phone call right now. Please wait until I am finished before asking questions."
In Professional Settings:
- "I'm not available to respond to work emails over the weekend. I will address any issues first thing Monday morning."
With In-Laws:
- "We value your advice, but we've decided to follow our pediatrician's recommendations on this matter."
With Siblings:
- "I love our chats, but I can't take calls during the day. Can we schedule a time in the evening instead?"
With People from Church:
- "I'm not able to volunteer for the event this weekend. Please keep me in mind for next time when I might be more available."
For Personal Time:
- "I've started dedicating Sunday mornings to myself for self-care, so I won't be available until the afternoon."
For Mental Health:
- "I'm committing to less screen time in the evenings to improve my sleep, so I'll be turning off my phone after 8 PM.”

When People Push Back

It's not unusual for people, even those who love you, to test or push back against your new boundaries. Here’s how to handle it:

Stay the course: Keep repeating your boundary, no matter the resistance. Consistency is key.
Seek support: Sometimes, you might feel worn down. Reach out to your partner, a friend, or a fellow mom for a pep talk.
Acknowledge Their Feelings: “I understand that this might be disappointing for you, but this boundary is important for my well-being.”
Reiterate the Importance of the Boundary: “Maintaining this boundary helps me manage my stress better, which makes me a better mom and wife.”
Provide Context: “I've noticed that when I don't maintain this boundary, I feel overwhelmed. It's important for me to keep this limit to stay healthy.”
Use Humor (when appropriate): “I love visits, but past 7 PM, I turn into a bedtime story-reading machine. So it's best if we say our goodbyes before then!”