Which Parenting Type is the Best?

Authoritative parents with their two children.

Parenting isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Different families, different kids, different challenges—it’s no wonder there are so many ways to approach raising children.

Over the years, experts have categorized these approaches into four main parenting types: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.

Each has its own style and impact on children.

Let’s explore what these types look like, how they differ, and why one stands out as the most effective.

What Are the Four Parenting Types?

Happy husband and wife with their toddler.

1. Authoritative Parenting

This style combines warmth and structure.

Parents set clear expectations but also prioritize communication and understanding.

It’s often called the “just right” style because it balances rules with flexibility.

What it looks like:

  • Setting rules and explaining why they exist.

  • Listening to kids’ thoughts and feelings while guiding their choices.

  • Using consequences to teach, not punish.

Impact on kids:
Children raised by authoritative parents tend to feel secure and confident.

They learn to think for themselves and build strong relationships.

Studies consistently show this style leads to the best outcomes for kids.

2. Authoritarian Parenting

This approach is all about control.

Authoritarian parents enforce strict rules with little room for discussion or flexibility.

It’s a “my way or the highway” style of parenting.

What it looks like:

  • High expectations without much emotional support.

  • Rules are non-negotiable, and punishments are common.

Impact on kids:
While this style can create structure, it can also lead to anxiety or low self-esteem.

Kids may struggle with decision-making because they’re used to being told what to do.

Healthy family in the kitchen

3. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are the laid-back, easygoing ones.

They’re loving and nurturing but often struggle with setting boundaries or enforcing rules.

What it looks like:

  • Saying yes more often than no.

  • Letting kids lead without much guidance.

  • Discipline is rare, and routines are loose.

Impact on kids:
While kids feel loved and supported, they might lack self-discipline or struggle with boundaries later in life.

This style can make it harder for them to handle responsibilities as they grow.

4. Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parents are hands-off, providing for basic needs but not much else.

They may be overwhelmed by life circumstances or unsure how to connect with their kids.

What it looks like:

  • Minimal rules or expectations.

  • Little emotional connection or guidance.

Impact on kids:
Children with uninvolved parents may feel neglected and struggle with self-esteem, relationships, and academic success.

Family of four walking outdoors

Why Authoritative Parenting Stands Out

While each style has its place in the conversation, authoritative parenting consistently shines as the most effective.

Why? Because it balances two crucial elements: structure and love.

Kids need rules to feel secure, but they also need warmth and understanding to thrive.

Authoritative parenting provides both.

It encourages independence while offering support, helping children grow into confident, capable adults.

How to Identify Your Parenting Style

Most of us don’t fit perfectly into one category.

You might lean authoritative during the week but slip into permissive territory on a chaotic Saturday.

And that’s okay. The key is to reflect on your overall approach and think about what’s working (or not) for your family.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I set clear expectations for my kids?

  • Am I consistent with discipline?

  • Do I make time to listen and connect with my child?

If you notice areas where you’d like to grow, don’t worry.

Parenting is a journey, not a destination. Small shifts can make a big difference.

Happy young parents with their daughter

Finding Balance in Your Parenting

If you’re aiming for a more authoritative style, here are some practical tips:

  1. Set Clear Expectations
    Kids thrive when they know what’s expected of them. Be consistent with rules but flexible enough to adjust as they grow.

  2. Communicate Openly
    Take time to listen to your kids’ thoughts and feelings. This builds trust and helps them feel valued.

  3. Use Consequences to Teach
    Discipline isn’t about punishment—it’s about learning. Make sure consequences connect to the behavior.

  4. Lead with Love
    No matter what your style, showing love and support is the foundation of good parenting.

Encouragement for the Journey

Parenting is hard, but you’re not alone.

Whether you lean more toward one style or find yourself bouncing between them, what matters most is your commitment to your kids.

You’re showing up, learning, and doing your best—and that’s enough.

Every family is unique, and so is every parenting journey.

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress.

Take what works for your family and leave the rest.

Parenting styles are tools to guide you, not rules to confine you.

You’ve got this.

With love and solidarity,

Postpartum therapist
Mom therapist

Are you looking for some help and guidance in identifying your parenting style? Let’s connect!

Reach out for a free consultation today!

Related Articles:

12 Positive Parenting Quotes for Moms

Gentle Parenting Tantrums: 8 Expert Tips

Sources:

Chen, Y., Haines, J., Charlton, B., VanderWeele, T. Positive Parenting Improves Multiple Aspects of Health and Well-Being in Young Adulthood. Nat Hum Behav. 2019 Jul; 3(7): 684–691.

Nepal, T., Jeon, S., Diggs, S., Donnellan, M. Positive Parenting, Effortful Control, and Developmental Outcomes across Early Childhood. Dev Psychol. 2020 Mar; 56(3): 444–457.

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